Cadbury Marathon - Half Marathon

Cadbury Marathon - Half Marathon

On my first alarm ๐Ÿšจ I dashed out of bed ๐Ÿ› grabbed my phone, hit snooze ๐Ÿ˜ด & mutter to my sister in law 5 more minutes.
We were roommates for the weekend ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ

I eventually got up
Mid wee selfie ๐Ÿคณ
Try for a nervous poo ๐Ÿ˜ซ
Nothing ๐Ÿ˜‘
In the shower ๐Ÿšฟ
Nervous vomit ๐Ÿคฎ
Wash hair
Nervous vomit ๐Ÿคฎ
Guess who has a cold? ๐Ÿคง

It was that old bitches fault.
The one on the plane โœˆ๏ธ
We were in row 30.
The last row.
Seat A ๐Ÿ’บ & Seat B ๐Ÿ’บ
Yesssss! No one is in seat C.
Iโ€™m going to move over as soon as they close the door.
Then I saw her.
A little old lady ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ
Making her way s-l-o-w-l-y up the aisle.
God no!
Fuck no!
Not next to me.
Sit on THAT blokes lap, up the front.
Yes. Next to me.
She coughed.
I got sick.

Dressed ๐Ÿ’‹
Out the door ๐Ÿšช
Freezing โ„๏ธ
Absolutely freezing โ˜ƒ๏ธ
How freezing?
2 erect nipple freezing.
So erect I keyed the car with them & might have to pay a $550 excess.

In the car ๐Ÿš—
On the road ๐Ÿ›ฃ
To the Cadbury Factory ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿซ

After a bit of a drive we arrived at the bottom of the hill.
The hill I get to run up later.
Yay ๐Ÿ˜
Up the hill we drove.
Parked the car ๐Ÿš—
Instant need to nervous poo ๐Ÿ’ฉ

I ran off to find a portaloo.
Found the line & clenched.
Finally my turn.
Biggest shit ever.
I had to pump that peddle with all my might to get it down the flap
You are welcome ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

I posed for some photos ๐Ÿ“ธ #wankeralert
I seriously donโ€™t know why people want photos with me.
Seriously.

Cheered off the marathoners ๐ŸŽ‰
Ohhh fuck!
Itโ€™s almost time!!!
Revvies Energy Strips time ๐Ÿ‘…

Make my way to the start line.
Hang up at the back.
Wee myself a little with anticipation ๐Ÿ’ง

Ready.
Set.
Ohhh fuck ๐Ÿ˜ฏ
Go ๐Ÿšฆ
And Iโ€™m off and shuffling!
I need to wee!

Run run run down the road.
Turn right โžก๏ธ
Run ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ
Turn right โžก๏ธ
Run
Turn right โžก๏ธ
Run ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ
The road veers to the right โ†—๏ธ
Past the Cadbury factory ๐Ÿญ

Run run run down a hill. Weeeeeeee!
Run run run past a drinks station.
Run run run.
A fucking hill.
Run run run run.
Itโ€™s still cold โ„๏ธ
Run hill run hill.
Are you getting the hills now?

Run past a police car ๐Ÿš” blocking the road for us Runners.
Iโ€™m tempted to damage it, so they arrest me and make the run stop.
But I didnโ€™t.
I like my relatively clean record ๐Ÿ˜‰

Run run run - steep on ramp.
A lovely lady is sitting on the side of the road, all wrapped up in blankets cheering people on.
You lady are a champion ๐Ÿ†

Run run run - fucking headwind ๐ŸŒฌ
Headwind screaming off the bay ๐ŸŒฌ
Freezing headwind โ„๏ธ๐ŸŒฌ

Run run run - the lead marathoners are on their way back for their first loop.
I clap for them as a run ๐Ÿ‘
My fingers snap off.

Run run run run run run run - Iโ€™m not even at the 5k mark yet.
Run down to the traffic lights ๐Ÿšฆ
Veer left โ†–๏ธ
Run run run.
Photographer ๐Ÿ’ƒ
Run run run around the bay onto a rocky back road.

Run run run down a small hill.
Past the drinks station.
Round the corner โ†–๏ธ
A MASSIVE hill greets me ๐Ÿ–•

I grunt, sweat & may have even cried up that hill.
See my father in law running back the opposite direction ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ
I ran & I ran & I ran.

Finally the turnaround point โ†ฉ๏ธ
Ohhh the lead marathoners have just passed me again.
They are on their home stretch.
Me ๐Ÿ˜ข
Time for a live video.
If I donโ€™t do something Iโ€™m just going to give up.
Iโ€™m cold.
Iโ€™m sore.
Iโ€™m lonely.

Run run run
Ohhh someone has dropped a green jellybean.
I almost stopped for it.
Iโ€™m so hungry.

Run run run down that hill.
Back past the drinks station.
Along the rocky road.
Not MY kind of rocky road.
Past the photographer who was facing the other way, I hope he got a picture of my arse. Seriously.

Turn right at the traffic lights ๐Ÿšฆ โžก๏ธ
Run back.

I was struggling.
A bloke doing the full was running the other direction - on his second loop.
He put his hand out for a high 5 ๐Ÿ–
(Quick! Look over your shoulder Shanon - it might not be for you)
Iโ€™ve stolen high 5โ€™s before.
#awkward
There was no one behind me.
It was as for me!
Thank you bearded Marathon man!

Now they did close one of the lanes on the road for us to run on.
Can I just say, if you ever pass someone running, walking or whatever and they are struggling.
Give them a thumbs up ๐Ÿ‘
Donโ€™t be a dick like everyone I saw - laughing & pointing at me ๐Ÿ˜”

I just kept on going.
Up the hills โฌ†๏ธ
Down the hills โฌ‡๏ธ
And then I saw my friend Tracy from
BRW heading back for her 2nd loop. She was doing the full marathon.
Tracy - you are amazing ๐Ÿ†

Back past the police car ๐Ÿš”
Iโ€™d come this far.
No point raiding the savings for bail money ๐Ÿ’ฐ so I kept on going.
18.57k was my mental stumbling block was.
I was hurting.
I started to walk.
But I didnโ€™t stop.
I kept on moving.

Run ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ walk ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™€๏ธ run ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ walk ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™€๏ธ
I just kept on going.

And there I was.
The bottom of THE hill.
The biggest mother fucking hill ever.
A 600m hill with the finish line at the top.
I ran, shuffled, jogged, walked & crawled my way up that hill.
I was on the brink of tears ๐Ÿ˜ญ
I was so close yet so far.

I could see the finish line.
I ran & ran & ran but the finish line seemed to be further & further away ๐Ÿ

I pushed.
I ran.
I looked like I was running in slow motion.
I was finishing with the 5k fun runners.
They were zooming past me.

I had nothing left in the tank.
I ran & ran & ran.

I ran over the line in 2 hours 39 minutes & 56 seconds.
A new PB by 3 minutes.

At the end of the finishers chute there were people holding bags to give out.
Being a half marathoner I got a purple bag, I ripped it open to check out my chocolate.
If I see any gold packets in there I will go off like Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka & the chocolate factory.
Purple packets.
Yayyyyyyy no Old Gold!

After a bottle of water, a banana ๐ŸŒ & a piece of watermelon ๐Ÿ‰ (I know your expecting I will say I felt like a brand new woman)
NOPE ๐Ÿ‘Ž
I ached.
I still ache.
Itโ€™s a proud ache.
I pushed myself.
I ran 21.1k

A massive congratulations to my father in law who not only ran a sub 2 hour half marathon, but he came first in his age division ๐Ÿ†

I may not be fast.
But I did it.
I have the medal to prove it.
And 2 fucking blocks of Fruit & Nut to prove it ๐Ÿซ

**Iโ€™m currently accepting donations of Cadbury Marvellous Creations for charity.
And for charity, I mean me


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