Exercise Bike

The alarm went off.
She didn't hit snooze. Today was her day.
She gingerly slid out of the warm bed, stumbled towards the bedroom door, grabbing the beigest bra she owned from the half opened drawer.

Into the lounge she walked.
FUCK! It was cold. He had not closed the glass door to the patio last night.
Lazy fucker, she thought to herself.

She struggled with the bra that early in the morning. She managed to get 2 of the 63 hook & eyes looped. After all, it was an old nursing bra.
Note to self: must buy new bras.

She slid her feet into her round-the-house-Birkenstocks and shuffled her way to the exercise bike.

She attempted to hoist herself up onto the seat, her knees cracked.
The seat groaned a not so subtle groan under the weight.
Shit, the seat was cold.

She started peddling, level 1 for 2km, level 2 for 2km then 1km for each additional level.

Her heart was in her throat, firstly because it was fucking exhausting, but 2 because she didn't want to wake the child up.

The sun started to rise in the background.
The daylight slowly crept across the the neighbours roof.

The sweat started to form on her brow, run down her face, clung to her faint moustache.
She shook her head, the droplets splashed onto her heaving chest.
The heaving, almost asthmatic chest.
The sweat turned her faded granny bra into that weird bandaid colour.

Harder she peddled, the harder it was to breathe.
The sweat snaked its way down her back from the nape of her neck.
Her hair clung to her face thanks to the copious amount of sweat.

The underboob sweat begun, a slight chafe formed and she pedalled.
"How the hell can I get boob chafe on a stationary exercise bike?" she pondered....

The sweat than dropped down to her mum tum, seductively pooling in her belly button.

The heart rate monitor on the Aldi exercise bike read 71 bpm.
Clearly that part of the bike hadn't woken up yet as her heart was pumping overtime.
Think heart attack level.

Through the paper thin walls she could hear the child stirring.
The time had come to dismount.
She bike let out a sigh of relief.
She looked down at the seat, it looked like she had pissed herself.

She took at hand towel and gave the sweat a quick once over clean. A lazy gym clean.
Then, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the door.
She looked ridiculous.
Absolutely bloody ridiculous riding an exercise bike in her underwear.

With that she called it a day, time for a hot, steamy, sudsy shower.......💋

True Story

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