On my first alarm I was startled from my slumber 😵
I had had the worst nights sleep, tossing & turning and countless nervous wee's.
I lay there.
What the fuck have I gotten myself in to?
Got out of bed.
I was going to have a shower and get ready in the main bathroom.
I stumbled through the lounge, walking towards the kitchen, cue nervous vomit 🤢
Cue not being able to open the fucking child safety gate.
Catch vomit in hands 👐
Run to bathroom 🚽
Vomit in the sink 🤢
Cue nervous shits 💩
Mid vomit, mid wee, mid shits selfie 🤢💩🤳
Get the kid out of bed 😴
Pack the kid his snacks 🍪🍭🍩🍿🧀
In the car 🚗
And we are off.
We arrive at Berrinba Wetlands and score a great carpark.
Ben & Will had come to watch me start my run, they were going to go home while I was running and come back to see me finish.
I got to meet so many followers!
I got an amazing photo with Sally, Sophie & Catherine - what a bunch of sexy runners we are 👯👯
Running Mums Australia photo done ✅
So so so many photos done ✅
I am sorry I cannot remember everyone's names, I was a fucking mess 🤦♀️
There marathoners are starting!!!
Off they go.
42k of running madness.
It was a blur after this.
The next minute I'm standing in a group of people, getting my iPod sorted & getting my Revvies Energy Strips on 👅
I was about to run 21 fucking kilometres🏃🏽♀️
And we were off a running.
Ohh fuck, what have I done? Ohh fuck, I am a bloody idiot, ohh fuck only 20.8k to go.
I followed everyone else.
I had not looked at the course map 🗺
I'm pretty unorganised.
I got myself into a good pace and just put one foot in front of the other and just ran.
Out on the course I received so many cheers & hi fives 👋
This is what running is all about.
It's cheering others on & supporting others, it's doing what ever you have to do to get them over the line.
Run run run - see the hydration station which was manned by the Logan River Runners 🏃🏽♀️🏃
Run out to a turn around point ↪️back past the water station, past 2 photographers who schemingly only managed to get photos of me on the downward stride.
Everything is about 23cm lower than they should be.
Run run run through the bush on a path, turn right ➡️
A long hill 🖕
Heart attack at the top of the hill, turn left ⬅️run run run up another smallish hill,
Turn left ⬅️run down a steep little hill.
Ahhhhh my toes.
No, seriously did you hear my muffled scream?
My toes slid forward in my shoes, tell me again, was it a good idea to run a half marathon with 2 broken toes?
Run down the small hill, run up a steep small hill, turn left ⬅️run run run down the road, turn a left ⬅️ at the end of the street and just follow the path.
Run run run.
Run up a small incline, turn right ➡️ at the hydration station 💦
Grab a cup, I tried to run and sip.
3 sips later I looked like I was in a wet t-shirt competition 👄
Run to the turn around point ↩️
Run run run back past the start line.
And do it all again for another 2 laps.
I am so very proud to say I ran 18k without stopping.
I have never run further than 10k before.
I was determined to complete this run, even if I had to crawl.
I stopped briefly at the 18k mark and I got dizzy getting my red snake lollies out of my bra 🐍
Turns out I must have forgotten to put my dentures in as my teeth just didn't work.
I chomped and chomped and chomped on that delicious, sweet, preservative filled
red snake and it just refused to break down.
This is the part I went a little delirious.
I had a conversation with a crow 🦅
A crow landed on the path next to me, he hopped along side me for about 50m
I told the crow I was "fucked"
He stopped and looked at me and tilted his head.
But he couldn't understand me with the snake still in my mouth.
I ended up having to do a very unattractive spit, the snake came out, but the pink tinted spit stuck to my lip, swung around and turkey slapped me on the face 🦃
I went back to talk to my new friend, Russell the crow, but he scoffed my regurgitated snake and flew off.
I started running again, but as previously advised I'm like a fully loaded B-Double 🚚
I take a while to get going.
I was all alone, no one around me.
I know I have talked about me getting the Ivan Milats before but this was seriously Milatish country.
I was like an exhausted buffalo 🐃
Ivan could take me down without any struggle.
I just kept on running.
Ohh this is the point where I need to apologise to the poor photographer who was in the middle of the course who just had to listen to my swearing rant each lap.
He just laughed at me, and look those downward stride photos as revenge 😈
The 19 -20k point is where it all went to shit.
Everything was aching.
I was so close yet so far.
And then it happened
1 tear 😢
2 tears 😢😢
All the tears 😭
I started to slow down and I started walking.
Once you start walking it's bloody hard to start running again.
I was so bloody emotional.
I was so close to finishing.
I was about to prove all the doubters and haters wrong (trust me there a heaps of them!)
I finally saw the road & final hydration station.
Then I heard him.
Let me tell you about Dan, he is one of the loveliest, most down to earth blokes you will ever come across.
He is an amazing runner.
He recently finished Run Down Under virtual lap of Australia 🇦🇺, he is a regular on the parkrun scene motivating everyone, he is also a Zumba regular.
He ran towards me, he knew I was in a world of pain 🌎
He could see I was crying.
Basically I was a fucking mess.
Dan told me to pull it together and let's get this run done.
Dan ran with me to the turn around point, he helped build me back up.
I will never forget what he said.
"Finish with your head held high, don't look down, look up, enjoy your moment"
And then I took off.
I had 500m to go.
This was my run.
I was going to earn it.
People were walking back to their cars, they had run their races, they cheered me on.
Run run run I could finally see the finish line.
2 ladies who had run their race ran either side of me for a bit to encourage me on.
I have no idea who these ladies were, but if you read this, you know who you are.
200m to go.
I was all alone.
There was no one in front of me.
There was no one behind me.
In my mind I was running like Usain Bolt, but if you saw me in person I would have probably looked like I was running in slow motion.
My head was high.
I could see people clapping & cheering but honestly I couldn't hear a thing.
And then I crossed the finish line.
It was all over.
I remember someone giving me my medal 🏅
I remember crying as I gave Will a hug & a kiss.
I remember people congratulating me.
I remember people talking to me.
I remember how thirsty I was.
I remember how amazing I felt.
I plodded over the line in 2hr 43mins and I'm absolutely over the moon with that 🌙
That's pretty close to consistent 7 minute kilometres 💁
I can now say I loved every minute of it.
From the crying, the pain, the loneliness.
I ran the equivalent of Dreamworld to Maccas at Surfers Paradise, shit that's a long way!
I ran this half marathon with zero training because of 2 broken toes, I'm so happy with my time, imagine what can do with no broken toes & some training!
The 21k route was a 3 loop course.
For those of you who say "loops would drive me crazy" I loved it.
Each loop I ran I knew I was closer to finishing.
Thank you to Stephen & Big Tooks Sports for running such a fantastic event.
This run will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart ❤️
I, Shanon The Plus Size Parkrunner, will be heading back to the Logan Running Festival next year and conquering my first (and definitely last) full marathon