Today I got human shit on my leg.
Not my shit or my child's shit.
A strangers shit.
One day I did smear my child's shit on my face like I was playing the in the NFL.
My day started out like any other day, woke up to my alarm, hit snooze a few times, eventually got up, got dressed & went for a run.
I run around a new estate that is being built near my house. Because my neighbours can't see me, but a whole lotta builders can.
Halfway round my circuit I needed to pee. Bad.
I found a port-a-loo on a building site. It was either use that or squat behind a For Sale sign.
The port-a-loo stunk to the high heavens, I held by breath and jumped inside. Did my wee. No toilet paper 😩 rookie error.
So I drip dryed 💧
Then I stood up & felt it.
There was human shit on my leg💩
Real life human shit 💩
A nutty shit 💩
Some dirty bastard had done a shit somehow on the outside of the bowl & I managed to brush my leg against it.
I panic, almost knock the port-a-loo over trying to jump out.
Remember there is no toilet paper.
I had to use a filthy piece of insulation batting & part of a cement bag I found on the ground to wipe it off.
I ran the fastest I ever have home & scrubbed myself raw.
There may be a need to amputate