She who shall not be named

She who shall not be named πŸ‘Ώ

So I made my way to my local shopping centre on the hunt for a few new outfits to wear on my Parkrun 2017 quest. Traffic was shit, I parked next to that car no one ever wants to park next to, you know the one - dings, dents & scrapes on every panel. I thought to myself at least with me parking besides them if they confuse the accelerator with the brake my car should be fine.
There were seriously no other carparks left.

I make my way into she who shall not be named's store. After today's experience she is on par with Voldemort.

I get looked up and down like that scene out of Pretty Woman. I browse my way through the store whilst being ignored.
I pick up a pair of tights to be told "they don't come in your size" by a girl who I can only assume was 12πŸ–•πŸ»

Apparently if you are over a size large she who shall not be named does not cater for you.

I really wanted to buy myself something so I ask the salesperson "what would you suggest would fit me then?"
Fucking socks!
But nooooooo! They don't have any socks that will fit my size 11 trotters.
The largest they had in stock for a size 8.
"Maybe a headband" she then suggests. "They are one-size-fits-most".
With that I got the fuck out of there.
Today isn't the day to find out my head isn't "most".

I popped into good Ol' trusty Kmart.
Found 3 great singlets which will do the job, and they fucking fit!

This Mumma needs a drink.
But I've given up drinking after I drank a 4 year old Vodka Cruiser I found in the fridge on Boxing Day, I ended up with alcohol poisoning- but that's a whole other story......

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