She groaned as she hoisted herself off the couch, she gingerly walked towards the beer fridge in the garage.
She quickly close the baby gate behind her, a few child-free moments was all she needed.
She sucked her gut in to get past her husbands car.
"Dickhead" she thought, he always parks to far forward.
She opened the fridge.
What was in there?
A few stubbies, a bottle of champagne 🥂
Some chocolate milk poppers, an old vodka cruiser, and there it was 😍
The last can of Coke Zero 😍
She reached in and grabbed it, careful not to shake it as she Dukes of Hazards over the bonnet of her husbands car.
It felt cold in her hand, icy cold.
She tried to open the can with her fingernails 💅 but she had cut the too short.
Off to the kitchen to find a knife 🍴
"Kistttttt" was the noise that sprung from the can as she levered the knife under the ring pull thingie, she felt tiny specks of little bubbles as they floated up to her hand.
She raised the icy cold can to her lips 👄
She took a small sip.
Ahhh, the cold liquid filled her mouth and rushed down her throat.
The icy coldness on her teeth 😬
The acid reflux 😳
She made her way back to the couch.
The toddler was happily playing with his Duplo.
She put her blistered, sore, aching feet up on the couch, and lay back.
What the hell was that wet patch in the couch?
Ohh it was the spot her toddler had been licking earlier 👅
She lay back.
Fuck!!!! What was that stabbing her in the kidney?
It was a Duplo polar bear, that's what.
After digging that out of her lower back, she sat back and enjoyed a few long sips.
Savouring the flavour.
Savouring the bubbles
Savouring the coldness.
The frost on the can had melted in her hot man hands.
She swapped hands for the can and wiped the former frost droplets 💦 on her shorts.
This movement had attracted the toddler.
5 minutes mate! Just give me 5 more bloody minutes.
Nope, he started to move.
She watched him get up.
It was like watching some kind of mutant creature, he could get up off the floor without using his hands 👐
When she gets up off the ground, there is a whole lot of grunting, knee cracking, and when she is on 1 knee she has a breather whilst gathering the energy for the push-up to standing motion.
"Ta" he chanted.
"Ta Ta Ta" he continued.
"No mate, this is Mummy's drink, you have yours" as she pointed to his water bottle filled with the finest tap water 💦
The toddler has never had Coke.
The toddler is obsessed with cans.
Soft drink cans, milo tins, he even has his own can of corn 🌽 to play with.
Or he rather stole it from the pantry and Mum is too lazy to fight him for it.
"Ta Ta Ta" he continued as he walked like The Terminator towards he, climbing over Duplo, a toy lawn mower & a bead maze.
She gulped, gulped down that drink with all of her might.
She was not going to wrestle with the toddler today.
This was her god damned drink, and she was going to god damned drink it.
The now verging on coldish liquid shot down her throat, 4 big gulps and it was gone.
She flung her head back in the effort to get every last drop.
Then licked the rim, her tongue searching for that liquid gold 👅
The "Ta Ta Ta" had stopped.
The Terminator, ohh I mean toddler had been distracted by a bird in the backyard.
Now she has zero Coke Zero, but at least her toddler has manners.
Can you tell I'm giving up softdrink?