The fruit shop

I went to the fruit shop just after New Year day & this is where my story begins.

My basket was full of stuff from apples & zucchini & everything in between.....
Ok I lie, no zucchini, I thought my story would sound better with A-Z reference.
Apples to watermelon I promise.

First of all I was impressed with my 1 strong arm, carting around a basket filled to the brim of stuff which I will mostly forget about, then find it in the fridge a good 3/4 weeks later in a decomposing mess.

I get to the counter, a grunt like Maria Sharapova hoiking my basket onto the counter.

"New Years Health Kick" started the girl in the register.
"Yeah, a little something like that " I reply
Off she goes weighing my bits & bobs, not knowing an apple from an orange, she kept asking me what the fruits were. Seriously if you think a cherry is a lychee you shouldn't work in a fruit shop.

"You're a bit brown" she said "been to the beach for a holiday?"
Picture this ~ I puff my chest up like a pigeon, I do a Cher hair toss (my hair is in a bun)
"No actually, I did 3 Parkruns on the weekend, that's 15k"
"EWE ran 15k?" (Yes I know that's not how to spell you, but her tone was ewe 🐏)
"Yep" (Yes I know I didn't exactly run the whole 15k, I participated in 15k but she didn't need to know that)
At this point she looked me up & down, Pretty Woman moment again, I had to restrain myself from jumping the counter and stabbing her with the top of pineapple 🍍

Who the fuck did she think she was to judge me?
I have spent thousands on this body, at McDonald's, KFC, Hungry Jacks, Dominos, Pizza Hut - I'm not a huge fan of Pizza Hut, their sausage is weird.

Now I could have been an arsehole back to her and told her she should have gone and done 15k, made her feel shit about her weight/appearance. But I didn't.
I have been on the receiving end of these cruel taunts before, I didn't stoop to her level.

I told her I would be doing Parkrun this weekend & the next weekend & even the weekend after that, I also told her I had over 1500 friends cheering for me, I also may or not have said "I have a Facebook page, I have 1500 fucking followers"

With that I attempted to pay but the fucking PayPass thing was taking FOREVER to recognise my card.
Fucking awkward.
Finally it worked and I was out of there, trying to show off that 1 strong arm with all the bags hanging off it.
I finally got to the car & my arm was all purple.

Totally worth it.

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