Some of you may or may it be aware I received my first ever medal for a sporting related activity yesterday. I also may or may not have worn the days medal whilst grocery shopping at Woolworths.
I dropped my friend Kia at her house & headed to Woolies to grab a couple of things, I left my sling in the car, I was only ducking in for 5 minutes, and I can tell by the Porsche my surgeon drives there is no chance I would run into him at my local shops.
Before I went inside I change my hat over to the Pink Triathlon visor I also scored, I wanted to look on point 💁
I got ham at the deli, the deli lady ignored my medal.
I got lettuce, the fresh produce person ignored my medal.
I took some sneaky selfies in the health food aisle as I'm clearly a picture of health.
I got a few other things and headed for the self serve checkouts.
The was a girl who had to be around 15 manning the check outs, she was clearly unhappy about working on a Sunday morning, she was chewing gum and playing with her hair.
When I was 15 and worked in a Sunday I fucking loved it ~ I would dream about what I could buy with my hard earned cash. It usually went a little something like this:
✔️ Girlfriend magazine
✔️ White Musk Oil from the Body Shop
I was scanning my stuff then the register did the red flashing light saying "unexpected item in the bagging area"
There was nothing unexpected in the area, I had scanned everything, I'm not a robber.
I took me a good 2 minutes to get the girls attention, I almost used my medal like a mirror to shine light in her eyes. 🤳
Finally she came over, I told her "I don't know what's going on, I've scanned everything" at this point she made eye contact with the medal 🏅
This was my moment!!!!
"I didn't steal this, I won this, I got it this morning, see it doesn't have a barcode" shoving it in her face like a crazy person.
I think I terrified the girl.
She pressed a few buttons telling me that register had been playing up, again with the "I'm not stealing this medal, it's mine, I'm an athlete" rambled out of my mouth.
I'm 99% sure this poor girl thought I had escaped from the mental health ward across the road.
Seriously, there is actually a mental health ward across the road.
What would have sealed the deal if I hadn't given back my ankle bracelet timing tracker back at the Fun Run.
Every time the news comes on I'm half expecting this:
Police are hunting for what appears to be escapee from a mental health unit after an altercation with a teenage staffer at a local grocery store.
The woman is described as being a chunky/solid build, 172cm tall, wearing lots of pink, with what appears to be a chocolate medallion around her neck & also appears to be faking a shoulder injury.
She was seen escaping in a silver Mercedes Benz (my parents car) which Police believe to have been stolen.
P.S. How good is my double chin?